The gameshow with no name
by Rambina
Summary: This is a hugemungous crossover. Mostly done by my sister.
1. The Others

A/N: Me and my sister have been writing, again, and this time its a crossover of Harry potter, Lost, Friends, Pirtates of the carribein, and Robin hood and Suvior. My sister wrote the story so If you have any complints about err, stuff like killing people of and umm, stuff. I'll pass them on to her. oh and it's gets a bit confusing too.

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Disclaimer: Me and my siter do not own, PoTC, Lost, HP, Robin hood, Freinds or suvior.

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Chapter one- The Others.

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BOOM BOOM BOOM, This is suvival, Lost style. I'm Zeke and with the help of my otherswe will find a winner of our latest gameshow with no name yet.

We have two islands, Shark island and Tiger island. we have six contestants, each playing for the billion zillion pounds prize money.

On Shark island we have; The dark lord himself, Lord Voldemort, Gun extoridre Ana-Lucia Cortez and Hottie of the centry James 'Sawyer' Ford.

On Tiger Island we have the Golden trio, The super threesome, Harry Potter, Ronald weasly and Hermoine granger.

Who wins? You decide.

So you can keep tabs on our contestants, we have hidden cameras in all our coconuts on tree's dotted about the islands.

Tune next to meet Shark Island.

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A/N: WANTED- A name for our game show, suggestions welcome.

Oh and review please. 


	2. The Sharks

A/N: Story done mostly by my sister. this is the Shark island.

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Disclaimer: Just go back another chapter.

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Chapter two-The Sharks.

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On Shark island.  
Ana and sawyer sitting in a tree, doing what they shouldn't be. Our coconut camera no.4 catches it all.

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Meanwhile Lord Voldemort is collecting eggs from magic hens around the island. Coconut cam no.8 follows him laughing hysteically.  
"Ha! You losers! Think you can control what lord Voldemort the dark lord does? Ha! You couldn't control a fly. Yore watching me. I know you are." And then he flung the eggsfrom the magic hens at the cocnut trees trying to hit the camera's.  
"Ha! Take that you losers!" and he laughed manically as an egg exploded, covering the face of camera no. 16. "Muahahahahahahaha."

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Inside the control tower in the clouds.  
"Oh no! He's egging us, I knew we shouldn't have let those hens on the island escape." The others camera mass were in a state.

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Back on the island,  
"Ana-Lucia, Sawyer, You love birds, there's a camera behind you." Voldemort yelled chucking tons of eggs at the couple in the tree and covering them as well as the camera. "You weirdo, Your crazy, Look what youve done!" Screamed Ana-Lucia, "I only have one pair of jeans."

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Inside the control tower.  
The Camera men were going mad! "Camera's 4, 8 and 16 are down! I repet, cocnut cam's 4, 8 and 16 are down. This lord guyis going schizo, we have to get him out of there."

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A/N: .  
reveiw please. 


	3. The Tigers

A/N: Me and my sister have been writing, again, and this time its a crossover of Harry potter, Lost, Friends, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Robin hood and Shipwrecked (NOT SURVIVOR!) My sister wrote the story so if you have any complaints about err, stuff like killing people off and umm, stuff. I'll pass them on to her. Oh and it's gets a bit confusing too.

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Disclaimer: None of us own anything apart from the coconut cams.

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On Tiger island…

Harry was sitting underneath a coconut tree, clutching his scar, murmuring to himself. "It only ever hurts when Voldemort's around and when he's experiencing really strong emotions. But is he happy? Or angry?

Hermione walked over and said "Harry, if your scar hurts you should tell Dumbledore. Send him an owl. Or Sirus."

Harry turned round, face like thunder. "Hermione." He said, really slowly trying to control his anger, "Both Sirus and Dumbledore are dead."

"Oh." Said Hermione in a small voice. "Oh yeah. I forgot."

"You forgot!" Cried Harry. "You forgot?" and he got up really fast and hit his head on the coconut cam that was perched just above his head trying to catch everything that Harry did. Harry was knocked to the floor, unconscious.

Hermione turned around, trying to figure out how she could have forgot that two of the most important people in her best friends life were dead, when she bumped into Ron.

"Hermione." He said, looking down. "Umm, I need to talk to you." And he led her away to the opposite side of the island to a different palm tree and in the distance they could see a castle.

"Hermione. Ever since the first time I saw you on the train to Hogwarts during our first year when you told me that spell that was supposed to turn Scabber's yellow wasn't a real spell and that I had dirt on my nose." Ron stopped talking to take a breath.

"What is it Ron?" Hermione asked, thinking there was more to this than met her eye, and also slightly intrigued as to why Ron was turning a strange pinky colour.

"Well, umm, I tink that, umm, I've kind of well, I mean." Ron stumbled "I think I've devesome-rly-strfeelin-you." that part came out way too fast.

"What?" Hermione didn't understand a word that Ron had just said.

"I think I've developed some strong feelings for you. I mean, all that stuff in the sixth book about me making you jealous by going out with Lavender or Parvarti or whatever she was called, I mean…" and he trailed off, sliding his feet over the sand.

"Ron." Hermione said in an I-want-to-be-kind-but-I'm-coming-across-as-patronising voice. "I think I know what you're trying to say. And, I understand. I mean, I think I feel the same way about you."

Ron looked up for the first time and looked at Hermione, just to chech she wasn't joking and messing with his feelings before pulling her close to his chest to hug her and then kiss her.

"Get a room" came a voice. And Ron and Hermione were amazed to pull themselves apart for two seconds and look at the stranger who had just spoken.

"Maid Marion?" Breathed Hermione, who was familiar with muggle folklore and the story of Robin Hood. "I thought you were a story, a myth, a legend."

"I thought the same about witches and wizards honey." Came Maid Marion's reply in a weirdly, for no reason at all, American accent.

"Do you live in that castle?" Ron asked and then Hermione thought he was paying Maid Marion way too much attention so she put her lips over his face before Maid Marion had time to reply and then Maid Marion walked off, disgusted at ron and Hermione's behaviour on national TV. "She's only doing it so she'll wi the a billion zillion pounds" said Maid Marion to no one in particular, even though she shouldn't even care because she isn't actually a contestant on this game show that doesn't have a name yet.

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	4. Who goes, You decide

A/N: Here's another chapter done by my sister, Zoe (17). This chapter is dedicated to Missy 42. I love you! thank you muchly for your reviews and keep 'em coming. love Zoe. Callum- We are not calling the game show that, however much you think Willy Wonka is sexy. Personally, i think "The game show with no name" is a fabby name, and it's sticking. Thank you for all of your suggestions.

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Disclaimer: We don't own it, Willy Wonka is not fit, Callum.

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Chapter four-Who goes? You decide.

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So far on The game show with no-name...

Ana-Lucia and Saywer got it together, Voldemort went crazy and egged the camera's and Ana-Lucia's only pair of jeans.

Harry's scar hurts. Ron and Hermione confessed their lust and burning desire for each other, and Maid Marion appeared, out of nowhere.

It's eviction time ladies and gentlemen, Who goes? you decide. Well, actually, no you don't. We, The Others, well, no. Not even them. I, the almighty Zeke with a fake beard decides who goes. And it is, Dum Duum Duuuummm, Drumroll please.

Lord Voldemort. For defacing the game show's property. Lord Voldemort you have 30 seconds to say your goodbyes, the polar bear is coming to get you. -  
R&R people. 


	5. SOS

A/N: I write and Charlotte uploads, I love this story, its crazy, but it gets better, my favourite chapter is coming up very soon.

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Disclaimer: We don't own anything, not a bean. Except the coconut cameras and I'm working on having them copyrighted or something, if I knew how.

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Chapter 5. – SOS.

Back on Shark island…

The lostee's, Ana and Sawyer have been on the island for two months and have only just decided to write SOS in big letters on the sand.

As a complete coincidence, a pirate ship called the Black Pearl, carrying Captain Jack Sparrow and his stick thin first mate Elizabeth Swan, rode past the island and saw the SOS signal. They ignored it, because they were running away from the monster that was guarding Davy Jones' locker. Instead, they saw the castle on Tiger Island where Maid Marion lived and headed there, thinking it would be a strong place they could hide in.

Meanwhile on Tiger island…

While the Black Pearl was passing and ignoring Shark island's pleas to be rescued, Harry had become conscious. He realised that his scar had stopped hurting since he woke up, but his dreams came flooding back to him.

On the sand in front of him he drew what he remembered; a flash of green lightening then a manic laugh and a polar bear.

Out of nowhere, Harry suddenly felt a surge of pain fill his forehead and he clutched his scar. He rolled on the sand, making a mess and the sand got everywhere. And as he rolled he moaned. "Owwww, my scar, oh the pain. Voldemort must be really happy. He must be torturing some poor family or something."

In reality, Voldemort was actually really happy because he had finally escaped Shark Island and was riding on the polar bear to his freedom, where he was going to set all of his death eater friends free from Azkaban and rule the world with magic hen eggs.


	6. Who goes, I decide

A/N: I write and Charlotte uploads, I love this story, its crazy, but it gets better, my favourite chapter is coming up very soon.

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Disclaimer: We don't own anything, not a bean. Except the coconut cameras and I'm working on having them copyrighted or something, if I knew how.

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Chapter 6. Who goes? I decide.

It's eviction time again, and I the almighty Zeke with a false beard will once again vote another contestant off the game show with no name.

Who goes? I decide and it is Dum dum dummm, drum roll please.

Harry Potter for being so boring and moaning about his scar all the time. Harry you have 30 seconds to say your goodbyes, the monster guarding Davy Jones' locker is coming to get you!


	7. AnaLucia: Gun extraordinaire

A/N: This is my favourite chapter. It's confusing and so I'm sorry, but it's brilliant.

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Disclaimer: We don't own anything, not a bean. Except the coconut cameras and I'm working on having them copyrighted or something, if I knew how.

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Chapter 7. Ana-Lucia: Gun extraordinaire.

Ana-Lucia and Sawyer are totally unaware that Harry Potter has just been voted off the game show with no name. In fact, they are totally unaware that they are even playing a game show.

The pirate ship carrying Captain Jack has just passed their island, ignoring the SOS half written in the sand. Ana-Lucia and Sawyer are left staring at the ship with their arms flailing wildly in the air.

"Hey, Hey! Stop!" screamed Ana-Lucia. "I'm a cop, I order you to stop and rescue us."

"This is all your fault." Snarled Sawyer once he'd realised all hope was lost.

"What? That's not what you said last night" Ana-Lucia replied.

"We're stuck here, and it's all your fault." Sawyer repeated, ignoring her last remark. "If you hadn't boarded the plane we would never have crashed and be landed here in the first place."

"What? The plane crashing had nothing to do with me. You watch your mouth Sawyer because I'm a cop and you're a lowly con man and I have the upper hand here. I've already conned the con man."

"So you keep saying" Sawyer cried exasperated, almost teasing her "but earth to Ana-Lucia, we're stuck on a desert island!"

"Err, earth to Sawyer, I know" she replied trying to mimic his voice.

"Well, I don't think you did know, because you were all like, I have the upper hand and I was all hello earth the Ana, this island has no laws, no morals, it's totally lawless. Earth to Ana-Lucia, we're totally the same."

And Ana-Lucia said "Earth to Sawyer, that's not true because I still have my police badge and I still have power, and I'm the one holding the gun." She said, brandishing a gun that she had pulled out of nowhere.

"Earth to Ana-Lucia, no you don't." Sawyer yanked the gun and pulled it on her.

"Can we stop all the earth-to's please?" came a voice and Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Christine Taylor from "Zoolander" stood there. "Oops, wrong movie guys" Ben Stiller said, in his role of Derek Zoolander and then he gave his trademark Blue Steel look and they all magically vanished.

Sawyer shrugged his shoulders. "Well, that's the magic of television."

While Sawyer was distracted, Ana-Lucia grabbed her gun back out of his hands and shot him 3 times in the head. He fell to the ground, dead instantly and his eyes were still wide open, not even in shock because he was still laughing about his 'joke' about television.

Ana-Lucia raised the gun to her lips and blew on it, the way she had seen them do in the movies, because she thought she was hard.

In the control tower…

The others had only just figured out what was going on because they were so busy watching countdown on the TV.

"I've got a six!" yelled Zeke, the one with the false beard.

"I've got a dead body!" screamed an Other who was bored of Zeke winning all the time and decided watching the islands was more interesting.

"A dead body?" Zeke asked. "But that's two words, you can't have that."

"No, look you stupid little man with your fake beard."

Zeke gasped. Either the insult had got to him or he had actually seen Sawyer's dead body. "Who killed him?" he asked stupidly as Ana-Lucia was still brandishing the gun and stepping over Sawyers body to make sure he was dead.

"It was Ana-Lucia in the kitchen with the candlestick." Said one of them.

"No silly, it was Ana-Lucia on the island with her gun." Corrected another one.

"What ever it was" Zeke cut in "Ana-Lucia is sacked, "a murderer can't win the a billion zillion pounds, she's evicted right now." And then he leaned over the microphone and a loud voice entered the island. "Ana-Lucia."

"God?" Ana-Lucia asked, suddenly terrified that her past had caught up with her.

"No, silly, I'm not God." Zeke said. "You're evicted from the game show with no name. You have 30 seconds to say your goodbyes; the polar bear is coming to get you."

"What?" Ana-Lucia said. "I was on a game show? And say goodbye to who? That Voldemort guy is gone and I just killed Sawyer."


	8. Do I smell fried egg?

A/N: So another update, this one is very strange, Zoe has gone insane. and thank you to missy 42 for the wonderful name for the winning island, if i had it my way, then the game show would so be called that.  
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disclaimer: me, Zoë, the OTHER THREE PEOPLE IN Zoë's MIND DO NOT OWN IT.  
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A/N: so sorry, that was not meant to be in caps lock, But oh well.  
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Chapter 8: Do I smell fried egg?  
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So far on the game show with no-name:

Voldemort was the first to be evicted, for defacing and vandalising the game show's property. Harry potter was the next to go simply because he was boring and kept moaning about his scar.  
And Then Ana-Lucia shot Sawyer, so we now have two contestants on tiger island and none on Shark island, The last craphole island standing, So, technically Tiger island won, but it's just gotten interesting, don't wanna stop there, That probably all worked out for the best because the coconut cams on Shark island hadn't been working very well since Voldie egged them, and some egg had gotten inside with the wires and batteries and it was beginning to cook. There was a faint smell of fried egg covering the island.

Meanwhile, in the middle of the sea...

"Quick, quick, get the sails up, turn the batteries on, it's after us!" Captain Jack Sparrow was yelling at his first, and only, mate, the-all-too-skinny Elizabeth Swan.  
"But jack," She started "That's Captain Jack to you, first mate Swan"  
"Right, well, Captain Jack, there's just you and me on this mahussive pirate ship and it's not very windy, and this boats not battery powered"  
"Fine" Jack cried, "I'll swim to shore, it'll be faster"  
"But jack, the monster-gaurding-Davey-Jone's-locker will surely get you!" Elizabeth said.  
Suddenly, from the sky a song came blasting out off the speaker shaped clouds, "What's that coming over the wave? Is it a monster? it's a monster"  
Jack and Elizabeth stared at each other, wide eyed.  
"Oop's the microphone was on," Came a voice from the heavens, and then, "I got a seven, Ha, that beats your six, i shall become countdown champion"  
Jack said "It's the others, Their watching us, watching our every move." "Who? What are you talking about Jack?" Captain Jack sparrow looked at his female companion and said "Darling, I have a feeling, I am not long for this world, Let's do it right now"  
"What?" cried Elizabeth in disbelief "Jack, You know will is at home waiting for me"  
"Oh yes" Replied Jack, now deflated and said, "The ever so lovely Will Turner, played by Orlando Bloom, I don't get what you see in him, I'm much hotter"  
"Jack." Elizabeth said, blushing slightly, "I am not going to 'Do It' with you, Just because u have 'A feeling' " Making quotation marks in the air. "That the-monster-guarding-Davey-Jone's-locker is going to eat you"  
"Oh, you wont do it with me, but you'll kiss me passionately and handcuff me to the main mast." said Jack now all huffy, Elizabeth ignored him, then a sniff, "Hey do I smell fried eggs"  
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So what did you think?  
Leave comments, they make us happy. 


	9. I'm not coming out 'till I'm pretty

A/n: hey, I'm sorry, i know its been a long time, and we're very very sorry, i think it was ;last year when we last updated? maybe, anyway, we've finally got around to updating again, now this is the original, but i lost the original, lol, i know i know, I'm silly, but never mind.

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Disclaimer: here's when we normally put something about Zoë, and the people in her head, but u no, there's only so much you can say about them, except that they have pretty good ideas, so thank them that this is so weird, lol, anyway, we don't own it.

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I'm not coming out till I'm pretty.

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"Hermoine, you've got to come out sometime, why are you wrapped up in the banana skins anyway?" Ron asked looking at a cocoon on the floor with weird brown hair sort of things coming out of it.

"I'm not coming out 'till I'm pretty!" Hermoine shrieked from inside her cocoon.

"But, Hermoine, I love you, You are very Pretty, and I think you have the best hair in the world, even better than Harry's, but I'm not saying that Harry has crap hair, but you have nice hair." Ron looking warily at Harry mumbled.

"Thanks guy's"

"No problem," Said the voice from the sky as the script went up from through a cloud.

"Really Ron?" came a voice from the banana leaves.

"Ermm, urr, Guys?" hissing up to the sky.

"sorry, you're on your own for this one." came from the sky.

"urr, yeah, you're very pretty. and ...I love you."

"awww, that's the sweetest thing someone has every said to me, even that quidditch guy who I went out with saying my name all wrongly. Ron, I love you too." Bursting out of the banana leaves with fake wings (A/N: like in Ugly Betty if you've ever seen it)

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	10. The end

Chapter 10. The End.

Hermione and Ron and Maid Marion were sitting in their castle eating dinner and talking about Maid Marion's impending marriage to Robin Hood.

"See, I'm just not sure if i love him honey" she said, talking (in an American accent) to Hermione but staring lustfully at Ron. "I don't wanna settle down just yet."

Ron was too busy stuffing his face to notice that Maid Marion was practically devouring him with her eyes. He hadn't eaten anything except hens eggs and coconuts for the past 2 days.

The others had given up. In their eyes Tiger Island had won, but no one had come to claim their money so they were going to keep the zillion-billion pounds and buy Zeke a new beard, party a lot and get very drunk.

Captain Jack and Keira Knightly had just finished swimming and were running up the beach to the castle.

An other saw them through his coconut cam and said "Who are those guys?2 I thought we were auditioning for contestants for the next show who had yellow skin and that it was going to be set in space, not on another island and be a sequel to the-gameshow-with-no-name. We cant afford Davina Mccall anymore, she's demanding higher pay."

Voldemort had jumped off the polar bear he had escaped from the island with and onto the monster guarding Davy Jones' locker, because it could swim faster.

Both Voldy and the monster walked onto the shore, closely following Captain Jack and Keira Knightly who were banging on the castle doors screaming "let us in, let us in" Captain Jack just whimpered "I don't wanna di-ie."

build up of tension and suspension will they survive and live happily ever after or will Voldy eat them?

Out of nowhere Robin Hood swung from a branch and shot both Voldy and the monster with a single arrow. everyone watched in amazement.

"My hero" Maid Marion sighed looking at Ron who had successfully eaten 2 plates of roast chicken.

Robin Hood spotted Hermione's frizz and their eyes met. he called to Maid Marion "Marion, the weddings off, I don't love you anymore. And also, there's someone else."

Hermione and Robin Hood fell into a soppy embrace and had lots of babies. and Ron ate until he was so fat he couldnt get out of the castle's gate. Maid Marion continued to gaze lustfully at him, not telling him how she felt, even when he was fat.

THE END.


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